Anger

I have recently become an angry person. It takes a lot to make me angry. I am a person of God. I should not be this angry right? I should just give it all to Him and boom all my fears are washed away right? Not recently. Why am I angry you ask?

My life has been full of heartache. My closest and dearest friend had a miscarriage last week. She has been struggling to pick up and go. I have been giving her all the support that I can give. I, too have had a miscarriage in the past. It is truly hard because no matter if you are two months or 9 months you are bonded with that baby. You know it is there and growing. You nurture it and love. I have been reading other blogs that I have been directed to from another blog that I read (ie..Stafford Stories and Katies Keepers and few others) I love reading these blogs but they break my heart. These women are such strong women of faith. One struggles with infertilty and the others have recently lost a baby.

It took us 3 years to have our sweet baby. She is just the sweetest baby in the world. She is so carefree, happy and loving. Loves to talk like her mama. It is just amazing. I am hoping that we will be able to give her a brother or sister some day.

Here comes my anger about this....I am not angry at the above but angry at society. You have these amazing women who try and try to have a sweet baby in their arms. Some succeed some do not. Then, you turn on the evening new to hear about how some dad through a bottle at his 4 mo. old infant son and then put his head in a pillow to make him stop crying. The baby boy passed away. Or, you tune into facebook to be given a link about a baby girl named Baby Brianna Lopez, who was abused all 5 mo. of her life. Or, like my friend her former sis n law has 7 kids, and doesn't care about them at all. And, you just want to SCREAM!!! That is all I have wanted to do the last few days is just SCREAM! It makes me so darn tootin MAD!! I don't know who to be mad at. Please don't take this wrong I LOVE GOD for all that He has done but I sometime wonder about the paths He gives to people.

I don't want to be an angry person. I want to help all these women I hear about. I want to hug them tell them it is going to be okay. Take them bagels, with fruit and sit at their kitchen table and let them cry if they want. I am just so angry! I am getting help no worries. You have to say it frustrates you too? Please pray for families who want children (and deserve them, not these people who don't). I want everyone who deserves to have a child to have one like mine. It is truly only fair right? I hope you understand my anger. If you have any recommendations to help me, please let me know!